1. The US has made a new weapon that destroys people but keeps the
building standing. It's called the stock market - Jay Leno
2. Do you have any idea how cheap stocks are? Wall Street is now being
called Wall Mart Street - Jay Leno
3. The difference between a pigeon and a London investment banker. The
pigeon can still make a deposit on a BMW.
4. What's the difference between a guy who lost everything in Las
Vegas and an investment banker? A tie!
5. The problem with investment bank balance sheet is that on the left
side nothing's right and on the right side nothing's left.
6. I want to warn people from Nigeria who might be watching our show,
if you get any emails from Washington asking for money, it's a scam.
Don't fall for it - Jay Leno
7. Bush was asked about the credit crunch. He said it was his favorite
candy bar - Jay Leno
8. The rescue bill was about 450 pages. President Bush's copy is even
thicker. They had to include pictures - Jay Leno
9. President Bush's response was to meet some small business owners in
San Antonio last week. The small business owners are General Motors,
General Electric and Century 21 - Jay Leno
10. What worries me most about the credit crunch is that if one of my
cheques is returned stamped 'insufficient funds', I won't know whether
that refers to mine or the bank's.
1 year ago
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